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So that I can:

- Convince Julietta to get an AMAZING apartment with me in Queens
- Take trips to LA and Miami and Jamaica and all over the globe really
- Buy new flats that I’ve had on my to do list for 2 months
- Have a kitchen that is absolutely all mine
- Have something to do in the day time besides sit
- Get my nails did, my eyebrows done and my lady bits waxed
- Buy lipstick and makeup and not the Covergirl CVS shit I have. Some MAC.
- But most importantly save up for the next phase en mi vida. 

I don’t usually do too much personal writing on here. At least not anymore. When I first started this back in Oct or Sept of 2010 that’s all I did but now it’s just images. But I need a second to rant. 

The WORST part of being unemployed is living at home. Like I just can’t do it. I never spend more than a month or so at home at a time. I just haven’t since I was  13 or 14. I went to boarding school for high school and in the summers I would do a summer program or something. So this is the longest period of time where I’m home and I’m stuck without a plan or anything to do. 

And me and my mother get along better when we see each other for a few weeks, and then I’m gone. I think we’re just use to that type of structure and I can tell that me being home like this is fucking us both up. 

She keeps asking about jobs and I’m like if I heard anything 1. I’m not jumping to tell you because that’s added pressure and 2. would I still be sitting on this fucking couch?

I’m really frustrated because I’m qualified for these positions I’m applying for. I know I am. And some I’m just applying to just because. I really want to do something I love, and at the very least can tolerate considering I spent four fucking years and loans and working to pay off bills including my tuition bill (MYSELF!) so that I could at least find a job, preferably matching my major and if not my experiences. 

I knew it would be hard to find a job. But I didn’t think that I would have all of like 2 or 3 interviews in this time. I at least thought I would be hearing back from places, at the very least to tell me they’re not interested. 

I’m just over this. I don’t want to be in the suburbs of CT anymore and I don’t have the funds or the guts to just up and move right now. But the way it’s looking as soon as I get back from my 2 weeks of camp in Maine (yay temporary positions!) I think I’m using that money to buy a one way ticket to Cali. I’d rather be broke and unemployed in the sun, on a beach than on my mother’s couch. It sucks, but that’s just the truth of the matter. 

The first week of September will decide everything. If I don’t have a position lined up in NY by then then I’m off to Los Angeles to sit in Koreatown and apply, apply, apply until someone  feels my desperation and hires me.   


I have a phone interview tomorrow and it’s more or less kind of a big deal. More: because a hoe is unemployed and would really like not to be
Less: …

But I have no focus right now, and I should be going over interview questions, my resume and thinking about my past experience and how it applies, but right now I don’t care. 

I just want to be home, relax, watch television and have that be it. 

Someone call me and tell me to stop acting dumb.

Wanted: Employee for Entry Level Position


The successful candidate will have a minimum of five years experience in a similar role, own their own transport, be related to someone I know and like, be proficient in Excel and kangaroo wrangling, have gold-plated nipples, and be willing to work full hours at minimum wage.

(via aubrierose)

"You learn more about a person at the end of a relationship than at the beginning."

(via ohlovequotes)

(via from1353feet)


Day 270.


Today I woke up.
I worked out on the track by my dorm.
I’m now making breakfast.

Today I feel good.
So far anyway.
I’m a little sniffly and sick, but it happens.

Today I realized that I’m going to be alright. This journey is going to be alright.

I haven’t eaten meat in 5 or 6 days now. I…


Reminder. Make yourself and your recovery a priority and treat yourself from a place of love.


Reminder. Make yourself and your recovery a priority and treat yourself from a place of love.

(Source: endangeredbodiesnyc, via nevergiveup283to140)


"Sometimes we just have to cut off the dead branches in our life. Sometimes that’s the only way we can keep the tree alive. It’s hard and it hurts, but it’s what’s best."

Nicole Williams (via elige)

(Source: splitterherzen, via nevergiveup283to140)